Halloween

I have had so much to record that I haven’t taken the time to record any of it! It all started with a very memorable Halloween.

This year I was feeling a bit “Scrooge-ish” about Halloween. Although I loved the night as a child, I was feeling like our culture was trying to dupe me as a parent…those costumes that are so expensive yet so cheaply made, all that candy that is just poison to our children’s bodies and detrimental to their behavior (not to mention that this year the bags of candy were smaller than last year but even more expensive…do they think I don’t notice???)  So, Grant and I bribed our children. We told them if they didn’t go trick or treating all night we would have a party and play bingo for “Cash and Prizes” (we used that term every time we talked about the bingo game. It was so fun to hear little William tell his music teacher that we were going to “Play bingo for cash and prizes”!)

Halloween morning I woke up with an awful case of pink-eye. It was so gruesome I felt it completely apropos to this day even if it was painful and inconvenient. I spent the day preparing for our dinner that night. I call it my “Pinterest Dinner” since all my ideas came from, yup, you guessed it, Pinterest! We had a peeled watermelon “brain”, worm sandwiches, hot dog mummies, monster mouths (apple lips with almond slivers coming out for teeth) and a skeleton body made of vegetables.

Everything was ready when Grant and the kids came home from work and orchestra. By that time I had a sore throat and was feeling like I would love to just climb into bed. William was so excited and trying to be so helpful. Anna had missed her nap so she was very ornery.  We had put a plastic table cloth on the newly re-finished table, lit tea candles by each plate, and had dry ice “smoke” streaming over the whole table.  Sam was almost speechless with joy at the prospect of FIVE WHOLE POUNDS of dry ice.

During dinner, (a dinner that scared Anna so much that she didn’t want to sit down at the table), Anna’s plate caught on fire.  I was getting something so not at the table and Grant who has been so busy at work that he was practically sleeping with his eyes open didn’t really notice.  William was the first to see the flame and was calmly repeating, “fire… (3 second wait), fire… (another wait), fire…” Until Lizzie saw it and screeched, “FIRE!!!!!” Sam put it out and I rushed over just in time to see the melting plastic plate burn through the table cloth, and all the layers of finish, glaze and stain on a small spot of the table I had just spent a month refinishing. I slumped into my chair totally flummoxed.  (I’m not sure if flummoxed is the right word but it sounds like what I felt!) Grant, trying to be the encouraging fellow that he is said, “Oh don’t worry! Look how tiny the spot is! You can hardly see it!” I croaked out, indignantly, “That isn’t really what I want to hear right now!” Our discerning children picked up on my hint right away and started sympathetically saying things like, “Oh Mom! We know you worked so hard on this table! You must feel so, _____________ (they filled in the blank with words like sad, frustrated, upset, disappointed).” I felt somewhat consoled.

A couple minutes later the Saxeys, our best friends in Alpine showed up for trick-or-treating.  We all went to the door and I shared the sordid tale with Becky who responded with “Oh, I’m so sorry! You spent so much time on that table! You must feel so frustrated!” I shot a look Grant’s direction and said, “See!? Becky knows what I needed to hear!” Poor Grant by this time was probably dreaming of his bed and a break from his emotional wife.

Well, things looked a little brighter once dinner was over. Anna went to bed, Grant had Lizzie and William fish around in our costume box and put something together in five minutes and then took them trick-or-treating to the few houses on our street. I cleaned up the dishes and got the bingo game ready. Sam didn’t want to go with the other kids because he was too busy playing mad scientist with the dry ice.

Bingo was a lot of fun. The prizes were little bags that either had cash or a gag gift. I was super excited about the gag gifts. There was a woopie cushion (a huge hit), bacon bandaids, fake barf, a laser pointer that has two buttons, one that makes the laser work and another that shocks when pushed (it was a decent little shock too!), an ice cube with a fly in it, and “Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans” which are jelly beans with unique flavors, some delicious, some disgusting. Examples: Earthworm, earwax, booger, vomit, sausage… Sam was really excited to try them all until he ate the booger bean. He was sitting at the table when he popped it in his mouth and started to chew. Then, he started to gag. He gagged all the way across the kitchen until he reached the sink where he threw up! I couldn’t help but laugh by this time. Things just never go as you plan no matter how much work and planning you put into it.

The rest of the night went without hitch. We started the movie, “The Ghost and Mister Chicken” at 9. I put William to bed then and fell asleep with him, I think I was more tired than he was.

Next year we will just go trick-or-treating like every other normal family in America.