I was thinking lately about how I never really record life so much anymore. It seems like my kids had such clever and funny things to say when they were little but now we are just older and maybe not as entertaining. However, life is never dull, in fact, it is full of interest and excitement as well as the occasional pain and challenge. I will attempt here to create a small snapshot of what life looks like for us in the early Spring of 2022. I will write about the youngest kid to oldest…
Anna at 12 is independent, social and fun to be around. She loves dance, particularly jazz and ballet, has recently discovered basketball and loved being on the 6th grade team. She enjoys reading (is working on the Harry Potter series and Land of Stories), and watching Disney channel sitcoms. She and I share the love of a book from my childhood called Chicken Pox Papers and watching the super cheesy and entertaining show H2O about mermaids. (It took real courage for me to admit that in a public space.)
Anna doesn’t like the drama that comes with middle school and is constantly trying to figure out people’s motives and intentions when they do or say mean things to each other. I think it takes her by surprise that people are willing to intentionally hurt one another because she is such a friendly and accepting person. In the past couple of years some of her closest friends in our church congregation were a lady who’s husband is in prison and an elderly woman who was new to the neighborhood. Sadly the elderly woman quickly declined mentally and her daughter told us that the only person that this woman remembered was Anna. One of Anna’s recent achievements was starting a petition banning the tights requirement for the Friday dress uniform at school. She got more than 100 signatures and tomorrow will be the first Friday that the girls are not required to wear tights! Anna is somewhat of a middle school hero because of that! Anna’s best school friend is Zoey. Anna is also very affectionate and will do anything for a back rub, neck rub or back scratch. She will also play with my hair to get out of going to bed on time. And speaking of going to bed on time, Anna thinks that she should not have a bed time, mostly because her siblings don’t have one. She has always felt like she should have the same privileges they do! And speaking of siblings, Anna gets along really well with them. The girls love being together, Anna and William will sometimes get on each other’s nerves but for the most part are kind to one another and Anna and Sam are such similar people they love to tease and joke all the time.
For the longest time Anna has wanted to be an elementary school teacher married to a Polynesian dentist. Now she would like to be a nurse married to a cowboy doctor (no race specified this time). And for a little clarification on the Polynesian dentist thing, we had a young family in our neighborhood with the most adorable baby. The dad was Polynesian and the mother was blond. Anna was hoping to someday have equally cute children and the Polynesian husband was the key. The dentist part was because of good work/life balance and generous salary. Anna is a fair student. She is smart but doesn’t love to do homework especially not math. She plans on going to BYU-Idaho for college.
William is about to turn 15 and is really, really excited to learn to drive. Who am I kidding? He already knows how to drive (so does Anna)- thanks to Grant. He likes to remind us that his first choice of a car for his 16th birthday would be a Tesla. This makes us laugh every time because even if we weren’t still having pandemic-related supply chain issues with cars we still couldn’t afford one of those even for an adult in the family – never mind a teenager! William has always been a conscientious and kind person. Adults in his life (like other parents and church leaders) adore him and talk about what a good conversationalist he is. He is well-liked at school, in large part because he is so nice to everyone. Now that William is in high school he is a pretty good student. He loves to use big words and sounds like a 30 year old half of the time. For example, one day I left for errands and forgot my purse. I needed a photo of my driver’s license while at the bank and asked him to take a photo of mine and text it to me. He sent me the photo and then texted, “Does that suffice?” Does that suffice?!?!?! I love that my 14 year old texted that to me! He is better at writing poetry than he is at writing essays mostly because he writes beautiful phrases but has a hard time putting ideas into succinct and logical order to express a point.
William still loves to snuggle and will still hold my hand in public. I love that my 6′ 2″ son will hold my hand! I am so grateful for that. He will make some woman very happy someday because of his loving and kind nature. I say someday, because we are constantly having to remind him of our expectation that he will be much older before he has a girlfriend. It seems that girls his age are quite keen to jump into a relationship with him and his best friend, Nate is quite girl crazy and constantly encouraging him to date! I am amazed at how much pressure there is in this world for these young boys!
William has really enjoyed sports this year. He played volleyball (mostly JV and sometimes on the varsity team when they needed more people) and LOVED it. Basketball was fun for him too but he was a little frustrated with trying to memorize the plays. And now he is doing track for the first time and really likes it, though he is still trying to figure out what events he wants to do. He is really strong and very athletic but doesn’t have much of a killer instinct. He is the guy who will accidentally knock someone down on the basketball court and will stop playing to help them up even with the ball still in play. I remember once a few years ago when his really competitive club soccer team lost their game. William came off the field and said happily, “That was really fun!”, meaning, it was really enjoyable to play a sport he loved on such a lovely day with the cool breeze and the sun shining and feeling his strong body working hard… his coach scathingly said, “You enjoy LOSING?!?” William just didn’t really care about winning or losing. He just found joy in the doing. He is still that way but is a little harder on himself when his team loses.
In William’s spare time he really likes to be on a screen. Playing the switch, using his friends VR set, playing on a computer, playing Minecraft… When we are limiting screen time he likes to read. He recently finished all the Goose Girl series, and is currently reading the Wrinkle in Time and Wind in the Door. He is getting really good at the piano.
William’s health seems to be improving. He hasn’t had a seizure for a long time (like two years). He is also really bad at taking his meds so I’m hoping he has outgrown his epilepsy. We need to see his neurologist who will likely try to wean him off his meds to see if he can go without. William wants to be a surgeon when he grows up and I’m curious if he own medical challenges have contributed to that goal.
Lizi has LOVED college. She is finishing up her freshman year at BYU and has been living on campus in the dorms. She had great roommates and has made a lot of new friends. She also had her first boyfriend – but they recently broke up because she is preparing to serve a mission for our church and wanted to be focused on that. She decided on a major -advertising – and is so excited about it. It is a great fit for her. She also recently got called (on 2/22/22) to serve as a missionary for our church in Paris, France, leaving on May 2nd! She will be gone for 18 months and I can’t think about her leaving without wanting to cry. I am so excited for her though. She is serving a mission for all the right reasons, not just for the adventure of it all (though that is pretty compelling too) but because she really wants to spread light and teach others about Jesus Christ, His life, His atonement and His example. I loved being a missionary in France and I am so grateful we will have that in common. I am a Francophile for life because of my time there and I have a feeling she will love the people and the culture just as much as I did.
Lizi lives life to the fullest. She doesn’t waste much time but is intentional about connecting with people and doing fun and enriching things. She has planned exciting weekend trips with friends, adventures with her roommates, trips home to hang out with Anna. She is constantly trying to better herself and learn new things. She doesn’t just attend classes but really learns from them even if it is a required class not related to her major. She is also really good at planning out her life step-by-step and achieving her goals. As one of the few kids in the family that doesn’t have some form of ADHD or ADD her good executive function skills have really served her well. She is also really good at understanding the emotional needs of people around her. An example of this happened a few weeks ago. This year we switched our ski pass from Brighton to Park City. We also haven’t gotten a lot of snow. Anna’s first time skiing for the season was not very good. It was really icy and even had some exposed rocks and dirt. It was an unfamiliar resort and not great conditions and after that day Anna didn’t really want to go any more. The second time she went I forced her to go, telling her I did not want her to stop because of a negative experience. Anna was mad and crying most of the way to Provo to pick up Sam and Lizi. When we got to the resort, Lizi could tell that Anna wasn’t too happy about having to ski and was also a little nervous that the conditions would be bad again. Anna is a really good skier if she decides to be but sometimes lets fear get in the way. Lizi knew that about her and told her that she would DJ their skiing and gave Anna one of her earbuds. This was a genius plan because not only did Anna have to keep up with Lizi to stay paired with the music but also Anna wanted to keep listening because the music emboldened her to ski faster and fearlessly. I don’t know how Lizi came up with that great idea but it made for such a fun ski day and no more tears.
Lizi is passionate about music. One time a few years ago I spent most of a night introducing her to classic rock and other oldies. Also around that time I introduced her to the Beatles and showed her a documentary about them. From that point on her love for and knowledge of those genres has far surpassed even my own. She has some of the best curated playlists around. She has also used music as a way to bond with people, old and young. One of the best surprises for her was to discover that her grandmother (Grant’s mom) also loves music and was quite the hippie herself so they share a lot of the same music tastes. In November Lizi had to get plastic surgery on her nose to repair a problem that happened when she had her deviated septum fixed the summer before. On the way home from this surgery Lizi, who was higher than a kite from the anesthesia, was playing music to fit her mood. I was laughing all the way home. She started with the Beatles, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” which is a song about a drug induced trip. Lizi then stopped that song because she said she couldn’t “trip in someone else’s trip”. Then she moved on to Abba, and she said, “I think Abba scientifically helps people get better from nose jobs” and then in response to the 1969 song “Fortunate Son” she said, “I feel like I’m coming home from Vietnam with my nose bandaged”. I could barely drive for laughing/crying (and videoing her antics). She is also getting really good on the acoustic and electric guitar.
Some of Lizi’s victories this year were getting such good grades her first semester even with some very difficult classes that she qualified for an academic scholarship. She also made the BYU Folk Dance team, through sheer tenacity and hard work. She survived a very difficult recovery from her nose surgery. She has learned how to serve people close to her who are having big challenges and has realized to a greater degree how lucky she has been in her life for a stable home, a good education and a lot of great experiences. Lizi is a joy in my life. I am going to miss her so much!
Sam got home from his mission in Colombia on November 9th. His mission, amidst a pandemic was a complicated thing. He was in Colombia for 4 months then sent home for a couple of months, then re-assigned to Arizona for ten months and then back to Colombia for the last eight months of his mission. While he was there (the second time) the country had a big revolt, with an attempted assassination, protests that became violent and that lasted almost a month. Food and fuel became scarce and Sam experienced what it was like to have tear gas in his eyes. The missionaries were sitting on their roof watching the rioting and protests and the air was so thick with tear gas it burned their eyes! Despite the world in upheaval he was able to touch the lives of many through his service, mostly the lives of his companions. He helped them to see the joy of working hard for something you believe in. Just this week his last companion who was new to the mission and having a really, really hard time called to tell Sam how, thanks to Sam, he was loving his mission and was so glad he stayed and didn’t give up and go home like he wanted to. That was really gratifying to Sam to hear. Sam is so good at connecting with people from all walks of life. He is a friend to all no matter where they come from or what they are doing in their life.
For the last few months Sam has been living in Provo and taking night classes at BYU. He is likely going to transfer to USU in Logan for the Fall semester. I can’t stand the thought of him being two hours away but I think the distance and the chance to make some new friends will be really good for him. Sam is the most resilient of people and will thrive wherever he goes. He is really excited to get into a major he loves, and for now is hoping to ultimately work in global economic development, like with the U.N. and is talking maybe law school eventually. He is excited to take economics next semester and his favorite class right now is his Geography and world affairs class. He wants to be able to use his Spanish – which he speaks fluently – in his future.
In Sam’s free time he enjoys skiing. What am I saying? Sam doesn’t just enjoy skiing, he lives to ski. He has been nearly 30 times this year – a year where we have record low snowfall and he doesn’t even have a car! He is an amazing skier and I love to go with him and try to keep up. He is fun to ski with because he likes doing tricks on the easy runs and likes skiing the hard and steep stuff too. He also likes to workout and is trying to get really strong. He hopes to walk-on to USU’s track team. He plays basketball often too. Sam loves to read and will devour a book in a few days. He is also really good at the guitar and finds a lot of joy in playing it. I’m glad to see all his classical viola and violin training being put to good use! We sent him a guitar while he was quarantined as a missionary during covid and he picked it up so fast. Sam also likes to date and is enjoying the company of lots of girls right now, I’m not sure that there is any one in particular that he is pursuing.
Sam has such a unique place in our family. As the oldest the kids automatically look up to him but as a jokester they don’t take him too seriously. A couple of months ago Sam was home on the weekend and working on a homework assignment on his computer. The following conversation took place:
William: Sam, what are you doing?
Sam: Typing up an essay on why I should punch you.
Lizi: The real question is are you doing your essay in MLA or APA format?
Sam brings a lightness and humor to all of our gatherings and helps us not take ourselves too seriously, something we all need at times. He is also willing to be vulnerable and honest about the things he struggles with and I appreciate that openness so much – especially as a parent.
Both Sam and Lizi are in the most interesting time of their lives right now as they have to make so many life decisions. It is a little scary as parent to have two adult children! I sometimes long for the simpler days when they were all little and actually believed everything I told them! This is such an exciting time too! Wow! I can’t believe all the writing I did tonight. I have so much to say and so many thoughts about parenting and my sweet children. My eyes are closing now so I end for today.
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