Friday night I was putting Anna to bed. As we were snuggling and talking I asked her what was the worst possible thing that could ever happen? She said, “Kissing a frog and then turning into one.” The best thing she could imagine? Being able to snap her fingers and things just happening. Like Mary Poppins snapping her fingers and the room cleaning itself.
Also Friday night I was in charge of picking up one of the judges for Lizzie’s Irish dance competition (feis) held the next day. Our studio was running the feis and parent involvement was needed. I picked up a charming woman from upstate New York who had never been here before. She asked me to tell her a little about Utah. I told her about the culture, and climate (she wanted to know if it was as grey-skied as her hometown) and mountains. We also talked about the many recreational opportunities here. Then, kind of out of the blue she asked, “Tell me about Salt Lake. Is it a dry county?” I replied, “Well, Utah is considered a cold desert, and we really do not get much rain, so yes, it is generally pretty dry around here. But we do get more moisture in the mountains.” She exclaimed, “I’m not talking about rain! I’m talking about booze! Can you get booze here?” We both laughed and I replied, “I guess the nature of my answer probably indicates how ‘dry’ it is around here, doesn’t it?”
Saturday was Lizzie’s feis. She looked strong and graceful. She wasn’t happy with her results but I think not getting medals was good for her. I am pretty sure she is getting to the point where natural talent isn’t going to be enough for her to advance into the next level. I have been encouraging her to practice for some time now and I think Saturday’s results (her perceived “failure”) really helped her to see that if she is interested in progressing in Irish Dance, she ought to practice. This was just another confirmation that my nagging will never push these children to excel as much as their own conviction of the importance of hard work.
Fifteen years ago while Grant and I were living in New York we saw “Aida” on Broadway. Aida was performed by Heather Headley, a Trinidadian-American daughter of a pastor. Her voice in that performance utterly blew me away. (Think the vocal equivalent to the richness of quality dark chocolate.) She also played Nala in Lion King, and is one of the few singers in the world able to play Whitney Houston’s role in the musical “The Bodyguard”. She has toured with Andrea Bocelli, and has released several albums…in other words, she is a VERY accomplished singer. I recently stumbled across a blog post by her that made me laugh:
“Our sweet boy enjoys music and loves to listen to his CDs in the car. My husband and I will both admit that we’re getting a little tired of hearing them, but we adore him and we love hearing him sing along, so we bear through it. I’ve always sung around our son, but I thought that maybe it was time to really start introducing him to his “mama.” There’s just one problem, however: He hates my singing. I do solo numbers for him, I try to sing along with his CDs, I do voices, I try riffs, I sing high and low, and still he says ”Mama, no sing” to me. I play the piano for him, and he closes the piano cover on me preferring to hear himself drum the keys before he listens to my rendition of Fur Elise. I’ve pulled up CDs, videos – – I even brought out the scenes I did with Elmo, thinking ‘now, he’ll have some respect for my singing’…nothing! KIDS! I may need therapy for this one. For my whole life, people have asked me to sing, then along comes my child who is constantly begging me to be quiet – – and, I’ll admit, it tickles me. He does allow me to sing to him before he goes to bed at night, however, and those are the best moments. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. So, Mama will gladly be quiet…until then.”
I love this because it has confirmed my idea that so much of parenting is about humility and selflessness. If we aren’t humble when we begin our journey as a parent, our children will help to humble us. If we are selfish, then the opportunity to give up many of the things that we once thought were important (including accolades of the world) will help us to become selfless.
By the way, am I allowed to post other people’s posts?
I just realized that I never shared this conversation with Anna from just before Christmas:
Right before a party that Grant and I were going to (for grown-ups only) Anna came out of her room, changed into a dress, pink shoes, with her hair brushed beautifully and asked (again) if she could go with us. We told her no (again) and she said, with disappointment, “My plan didn’t work!” Me, “What plan Anna?” Her, “I thought that maybe if I made myself beautiful you would want to take me to the party!” I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or cry. It is such a tragic reflection of girls in our society. Looks like I have more work to do…
Finally, a quote from Lizzie from last week: ” It seems like my life is a continual embarrassing thing.” Welcome to middle school, dear girl!
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