Living Full on Life

We Love Google Earth

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A friend of mine called me last week and told me to look at our address on Google Earth. (After she assured me that she wasn’t stalking us.) This is what we saw:

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In the car today William said, “I know why Sam is so happy all the time. It’s because he has a hundred dollar bill.” It reminds me of last year when I asked William what he likes most in the world and he replied, “Guns and money!”

Music, and a Tender Mercy

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Tonight we went to the LDS conference center for a Muzart World Foundation benefit concert to hear our school orchestra perform along with Jackie Evancho and other artists. Jackie Evancho was amazing (sample). There was another performer Mark Wood who was not so amazing. Actually, he was quite talented technically but he had this electric violin and a band of young adults who had weird hair and outfits who played a few rock songs in typically flailing, flashy, fierce fashion. Now, there isn’t really anything wrong with the songs they played, it was mostly hearing those songs in the conference center where we usually listen to a prophet of God speak that made it seem wrong. And the fact that President Monson was there tonight made it even stranger. Then, right after the second rock song our orchestra played “Ode to Joy” along with a huge choir. It was inspiring, heart-warming, and spiritually refreshing. The orchestra and choir got a VERY enthusiastic standing ovation! I think everyone in the audience, and there where several thousand there, could feel the difference in the spirit of the two songs. I was grateful for an opportunity for our children to feel and sense the contrast.
Now for the tender mercy… We just got back from Seattle on Thursday morning where Grant had a school heads conference. We had a wonderful time with the Laws and the O’dells and Wendell and Cathy. I LOVE Grant’s family so much. Seattle was beautiful and it was an exciting time to be there as Bethany’s baby was past due and could be born at any time. (Sadly he decided to wait until after we left to be born!) On Tuesday afternoon we left Seattle and drove to the Cascades where we stayed in this beautiful lodge in the mountains. (Suncadia Resort) There was a beautiful, huge swimming pool, an indoor and outdoor hot tub and sauna. The outdoor hot tub was especially nice because there was a light drizzle that refreshed us and made the hot tub so steamy and warm feeling. Everything just seemed so fresh and clean! At one point Anna took her life jacket off then forgetting to put it back on walked down the stairs into the pool. I saw her walking down into deep water in over her head as we were walking to catch up with her and I yelled for Grant (who is faster than I am) to help her. He indeed moved faster than I thought humanly possible and pulled her out of the water. She had been so still in the water, not even fighting to stay afloat! She gasped when Grant pulled her out and then began to cry and that was that!
The tender mercy here was that we were there to pull her out! The whole time while we were swimming we took turns watching her. She is very confident in the water because she always has her life jacket on so we felt confident having Sam and Lizzie watch her for a short time while we were in the hot tub or sauna. This one time she didn’t have it on would have been so easy to miss. It was so sudden, so quiet, it could have been a silent passing out of this life, and our lives would have been forever changed. How grateful I am that it was not her time to go. How grateful I feel that I can still snuggle with my little Anna and feel her warmth. Oh, how much I need to cherish these children every day!

Halloween

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Four years ago today Sam was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He was scheduled to be baptized a month earlier but woke up vomiting on the day of his baptism. And so on Halloween Day he was baptized. Before his baptism he had planned on dressing up as Calvin from “Calvin and Hobbes”, but after he decided that he didn’t want to be something bad so he was a lumberjack instead.

Today Grant and I took Sam to the temple for the first time to do proxy baptisms. I loved seeing him there and his excitement to be there. I was excited for him that he could feel the spirit of serving in the house of the Lord. I love that he goes to school right across the street from the temple and now he can join many of the other 7th graders that go together after school!

Remembering and Life’s Little Details

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First a link I love. It is a video from lds.org called “Moments that Matter Most”.  It is cheesy, lovely, sappy and makes me cry every time I watch it. You can find it here.

I don’t want to forget the little details of my children and what makes them individual so I guess I ought to write them down as I remember them or experience them:
William prefers to eat lunch/dinner foods for breakfast. He has been known to have turkey sandwiches, lasagna, spaghetti, anything I am making that morning for the kids lunch. He will eat cereal only if he is really in the mood and that is only rarely.
William is very cautious. He will walk his bike down hills even very little ones because he knows he hasn’t quite mastered bike riding yet and doesn’t want to take a risk.
Lizzie is the delight of Anna’s life when she tries to be. On Friday night she helped Anna clean up her room and then they played hospital. Lizzie has the most amazing imagination (it reminds me of Lex and the games she used to direct). They went all out with their imaginative play. About 20 minutes into it William hurt his foot and so we picked him up on a “stretcher” (my old blankie), carried him into Anna’s room and put him on the “operating table” which was two little tables put together with a blanket over it, a pillow and a lamp shining on it. I left the room then and when coming back ten minutes later discovered a happy little boy laying on the bed with his foot wrapped in an ace bandage eating “medicine” (smarties).  About five minutes after that Matthew Saxey got whacked on the head by the disc swing and so he was whisked off the the hospital too. He was treated so well (blue scarf head bandage and smarties) that Sam and Andrew Saxey where trying to storm the hospital with their own “injuries”.  Lizzie just instinctively knows what children will like and how to make the world interesting for them. I appreciate that talent in her.
Anna and William are our best eaters. They both even like salsa.
Lizzie is asking for a combined birthday/Christmas present. She wants and I pod touch. Sam recently admitted that he didn’t want Lizzie to get one because as the only child with an I pad he likes the power he wields of having everyone have to come to him to play games/ listen to music. I liked his honesty.

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Tending Roses

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I recently read a beautiful book called “Tending Roses” by Lisa Wingate. In it a grandmother is writing to her granddaughter. This is one of her letters:
“An old woman told me she wanted the gardens cleaned around her house, and if I would do the work I might have flower bulbs and starts of roses as my pay. My husband pretended to think the idea rather foolish as I was needed on the farm, but he was patient with me as I worked throught the early spring, cleaning gardens and moving starts to a newly tilled bed by our farmhouse.  He was older than I, and I think he understood that I needed something of my own.
Those roses were the finest things I had been given in my life, and I tended them carefully all spring.  As the days lengthened, the roses grew well and blossomed in the summer heat, as did I.  Coming in and out of the house, I would look at them — something that belonged to me, growing in soil that belonged to him.
Even passing folk admired my roses, for my work made the blooms large and full.  Once, a poor hired lady came with a bouquet of roses and wildflowers clasped in her hands.  She told me that her children had sneaked into my garden and picked them for her, and that they would be punished.  I bade her not to scold the children, for I was proud to give them this gift.  She smiled, and thanked me, and told me that, with so many children, she had no time for tending roses.
I did not understand her words until my own children were born.  When the first was a babe, I took her outside and let her play in an empty wash barrel so I could have time for tending my roses.  I was often cross with her cries while I was at my work.  As she grew, and as my second child was born, I understood what the hired lady had told me — that motherhood leaves no time for selfish pleasures.  Only time for tending others.
My roses grew wild and died as I busied myself with feeding and diapering, nursery rhymes and sickbeds.  I missed those bright blooms that had been mine and felt it unfair that I must leave my hard work there to die.  But I did not think of it overmuch.  My mind and heart were occupied with the sorrows and joys of motherhood. 
The day came, it seemed in no time, when my children were grown and gone, and I again found time to tend the roses.  I could labor over them from dawn until dusk with no children to feed, no husband needing meals, and few passerby on the old road.  My flowers have come thick and full and beautiful again.  From time to time, I see neighbor children come to pick them when I am silent in my house.  I close my eyes and listen to their laughter, and I think that the best times of my life, the times that passed by me the most quickly, were the times when the roses grew wild.”

Ode To Sam

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Today Sam played with the Utah Valley Symphony at the Covey Center for the Arts. It was such a joy to watch. He was so poised and competent. Too bad I was using an I-pad to film it and had a bit of a shaky hand, not to mention Anna dropping her plastic horses on the floor at the same time!
So while we are on the subject of Sam, I will now take the time to do his Birthday tribute (first time not in my journal) – not quite a month late!

Sam Is Twelve!

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Journal entry from 18 September 2001: “OUR BOY IS BORN! He was born at 2:14 pm. He is an angel. I am smitten. I love him so much. I love his father more than ever.  I can no longer imagine our life without him (Sam).  I feel as if I have always known him.”
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Our first snuggle

A month later (twelve years ago this week) I wrote: “Sammy really enjoys walks. He looks around wide-eyed for a little while and then he falls asleep and sleeps very soundly. (I’ve considered a walk as a way to put him to sleep during the nights.) He is actually quite easy during the night- no fussing, really he just wants to eat, have his diaper changed and a little snuggle time. We mostly sleep the night away in the reclining chair in his room but Grant and I are trying to get him to sleep more in his crib.  He hasn’t much liked it in the past.
He has very large, beautiful deep blue eyes which could change of course (the color, not the largeness). One of the things I love most about him is his eyes.  I love how when I am holding him he seems to gaze into my heart as his eyes lock onto mine.  He spends so much time looking up at me it endears me to him more and more with every glance.”
Now, what is Sam (no longer Sammy) like at 12? He still has a depth of soul and understanding that surprises me all of the time. He is a good balance of fun and zest for life and soberness. He is trying to learn when the appropriate times for sobriety and zealousness are. He received the Aaronic Priesthood on September 28th and it has been wonderful to see him settling into his priesthood responsibilities with devotion and joy.

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Can I Do Hard Things?

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Once every three months or so I have a couple days where I want to just “quit everything”. By quitting everything I mean, all the extra-curricular things in which we are all involved, not the essentials. The stresses of practicing, nagging, driving, driving, driving, attending lessons, paying for lessons, trying to find time for it all, being a cheerful, encouraging mother who gives positive reinforcement when really I want to say something disparaging about Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (I would perfectly satisfied if I never heard that song again), and just being consistent is the hardest thing of all for me. I am the one who can never finish an antibiotic because that requires being consistent for TEN WHOLE DAYS. Prenatal vitamins? I was actually relieved when my OB would tell me not to waste my time taking it because I would just throw it up anyway, at least then I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about every time I forgot.
   I am the queen of doing things in spurts. It is General Conference time again and I know that I will feel the fire of the spirit of change and for a couple of days, ok, maybe a week I might actually make some changes but sooner or later I will go back to my same old self, plodding along (hopefully toward perfection). My house work follows the same pattern of devotion and disdain as does laundry, weeding, budgeting.
   I so appreciate how encouraging my parents were in letting me try whatever I wanted to try. I played the flute for six months, the piano for two years (and never practiced a day of those two years), singing lessons for three months and played the harmonica on and off for a year. I took ice skating lessons, ballet, ski school, tennis lessons, played volleyball, softball, and basketball. I took art and ceramics lessons. I pursued mountain biking, rock climbing, mountaineering, rollerblading (including roller-hockey), and telemark skiing.
   So what did all of this do for me? It showed me that the world is an exciting and interesting place. I have wonderful and exciting memories. I guess it made me fairly well- rounded. However, sometimes I wonder how I would be different if I had been made to stick to something and be consistent. Maybe I would be a better, more patient mother with my own children as they strive to develop their own talents. How could I ever possibly choose which part of me I would take out because I would adopt consistency instead? If all of my time had been spent practicing and excelling at say, the piano, that certainly would not have left time for me to enjoy all the other things I got to try and which became a part of me?
  So my questions are:

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What a Thrill!

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I took Sam and his friend Emily to a rehearsal with the Symphony tonight. The child viola players practiced their piece “Telemann” together which sounded AMAZING, then joined the symphony. It must have been an amazing feeling for those young kids to be part of that, to have all of those older, more experienced players accompanying them! It gave me great joy just watching.

Miscellany

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I have been wanting to write up a big post on Sam for his birthday as I have for each child for their birthdays every year but the task just got so big I kept putting it off and putting it off, causing me to miss opportunities to write down other, smaller moments. This is my attempt to catch up a little…
Tonight (Sunday) we were playing a fun game of Liar’s Dice that Lex and Jeff gave Sam for his birthday. Part of the strategy of the game was to bluff. Sam was losing to both Grant and I and exclaimed, “I don’t like being after you Mom cause you’re a liar, and I don’t like being before you Dad cause you are so smart!” (I don’t think I should play this game anymore.)
Today Sam was given the Aaronic priesthood, ordained a deacon and  got to pass the sacrament in church.  He also was given the chance to share a favorite Article of Faith with our whole congregation. He had been sitting with the other deacons before he went up and so didn’t notice that Anna had been putting princess stickers all over her patient cousin Dallin’s face. I mean they where ALL OVER! Sam went up to the pulpit to say his recitation and after a line or two noticed Dallin, who wasn’t trying to be silly or anything but was looking sweetly at Sam. Sam burst out laughing and then couldn’t recover throughout the rest of the scripture. Mom, Lex and Jeff and Rebecca where having an equally difficult a time staying under control!Aside from the humor of the situation, seeing Sam receive the priesthood and take on that new responsibility was a beautiful thing. He truly is, as Moroni is described, a “sober” child. Sure Sam can be goofy and silly sometimes, but when it really matters, Sam can be trusted to make good decisions, to think of others and to be an example.  His 7th grade teacher recently said that when Sam raises his hand in class she knows that she can trust him to strengthen and deepen the discussion. Sam’s blessing today said that Heavenly Father has great trust in him. What an honor for me to be his mother.Last night (Saturday) Grant and I were about to leave on a date. Anna was sitting on my lap facing me. She patted my not-so-flat middle aged tummy and kindly said, “Wow mommy! You are full!” I had not eaten yet.

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