Living Full on Life

The Canary in the Coal Mine

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A few weeks ago I mentioned to Grant that I felt like we needed to refocus on our relationship and spend some quality time. He had been very busy and pulled in a thousand directions and so had I. He agreed and with gratitude said that I was like the canary used in coal mines. The canary detected harmful levels of methane or carbon monoxide. Sadly, the super-sensitive canary died when things got too toxic. Thankfully at that point the level wasn’t deadly for the humans…yet. I thought the connection he made was nice. I thought Grant’s willingness to make changes even nicer. The fact that I don’t die when things get a little busy, I thought the nicest of all.

A Random Sample

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Awhile ago William said, “Kung Fu Panda really has a lot of good lessons in it. Like how it teaches you how to build a rocket.”

Anna complained to me that it is getting annoying that everywhere she goes (preschool and primary) the boys all want to sit by her and she just wants to be by herself. I said, “Well, it’s just because you are so cute and nice!” She said, “Well, then I just want to be not cute like you, and then the boys won’t want to sit by me!”

This week I presented at book club. The topic of discussion was man/woman marriage and the same-sex marriage debate. I was a nervous wreck about leading a discussion about this since I don’t enjoy politics, current events or conflict in general. I also feel very weak when it comes to debating or discussing high emotion topics.  My heart rushes, my voice quivers and my knees go weak. Not to mention the discomfort of my brain going blank. I was also very nervous because I knew there would be some people present that felt very differently on the topic than I do. Well, the discussion went quite well due largely to the great turnout and many thoughtful people who wanted to discuss this topic in a civil and caring way. I felt good knowing that I had done the leg work necessary to make this topic personal. I could finally discuss it with my own words and not just quoting someone else. I could speak with passion and authority because I had read and prayed and pondered. I spent hours reading articles and books and although it was still not my favorite way to spend my time (I’d rather be reading food blogs), I am glad I did it. It also made me very grateful for the LDS church’s stand on man/woman marriage. It makes so much sense to me and in my heart of hearts it just feels right.
https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Now for a fall recap: (I’m hoping to do a summer re-cap, maybe in February when I am really longing for some warm weather.)

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Anna’s Dream Man and Mine

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In the car Anna was wondering who she will marry some day. I asked her what she was looking for in a husband (remember she is four). This is her list, in order:
1) Smart
2) He has to be the Bishop
3) Funny
4) He has to play in the backyard with the children
5) He has to take her out to eat
Our children learn so much about what they want by what they see. I would say that in this list she included things she sees in her Dad and things that she sees that are important to me. (eating out)
Dad and Sheri have been staying with us for the past three weeks as they prepare for their mission. It has been SO WONDERFUL! What a unique and memorable time to share with them. Today was their farewell address at church which was great, then a dinner for family and friends, then their setting apart. The stake president came over here and we had a little devotional where we all talked about what qualities Dad and Sheri have that will make them great missionaries. Then Dad and Sheri bore testimony of the importance of what they are doing. I felt the spirit of the Lord so strongly as we shared our feelings. Sheri talked about how she felt that there are angels all around us, helping us. Dad talked about how he knows there is a loving Heavenly Father who listens and cares. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude that my children could be surrounded, enveloped with the peace that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings. I am grateful for their example of service and sacrifice. I also felt so excited as Grant and I sat together holding hands that we will be able to walk through all the phases of our life together. I love being parents together, I look forward to being missionaries together, grandparents… I don’t feel like I mind what the future brings for us as long as we are together.
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Gramma and Grampa Z at their missionary farewell

September 11th

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Lizzie wanted to see some footage of 9/11 this morning. I started to show her some and it made me cry. You think you have processed something; the fear of that day with Grant working in D.C., across the street to the FBI building and within three miles of the pentagon. Relief that he didn’t take the job in New York that would have been RIGHT THERE, uncertainty for the future…
I realized that processing takes a long, long time. The important thing is to process, not ignore. The thing I feel most of all is gratitude. We survived that day when so many others didn’t. Our nation is still strong and the freest place on earth. God bless America!

 

Some Notable Things

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This is a post I wrote more than a week ago but kept forgetting to publish:Sam asked for a longboard for his birthday. He picked it out a month ago and I hid it in the most amazing hiding place of all time! I will never tell…William and Lizzie have been pretending that they know where it is and are not telling either. Sam, the tortured one is doing everything he can to either find it himself or bribe the others to tell him. The other day I heard him say, “William, I will give you my birthright if you tell me where my longboard is.”

Last week I had a whole day of errands to run for school needs and to get ready for our backpacking trip to the Wind Rivers. Anna had been an absolute dream to have along, very sweet and patient but apparently I pushed her a little far. We were at REI getting long underwear for Lizzie (among a few other things)  when Anna discovered some pants she wanted.
I informed her that she didn’t need any and so we left that area and started looking for the next thing on our list (a footprint for our backpacking tent). She was pretty annoyed that she didn’t get the pants and for some reason she REALLY wanted them. (They were long underwear for goodness sake!) A few minutes later she told me that she wet her pants and that we needed to buy her some new ones since hers were wet. I had this sinking feeling and then felt her pants to see how wet she was. I was imagining urine running down her pant leg and puddling on the floor but was relieved to find that she had just barely leaked a little out.  I told her with great encouragement (thinking she was embarrassed that she had wet herself, never imagining that she had done it on purpose!), that it wasn’t that bad, that it would dry in a few minutes and asked if she needed to go potty. She said she didn’t. I kept shopping…Less than five minutes later she opened the floodgates and totally wet herself (just like I imagined at first). She said, “NOW can I get those pants?!?”
She most certainly DID NOT get those pants.
School started last week. This summer has been amazing. Truly amazing. But also very exhausting. I erroneously thought that life would be less exhausting when school started. We get up at 5:30 am M,Th, F, 4:55 on Tuesday, and 6:45 on Wednesday (our blessed sleep-in day!)

Growing and Growing…

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I took Sam to the doctor tonight with an injured thumb. Lizzie also came. While we were there I asked if we could measure them. Sam was 5’6″ and Lizzie was 5’4 1/2″. I sure love my bean sprouts!
William lost one of his big front teeth today. It has been hanging on for dear life! The one next to it is perilously close too. We are hoping he can get it loose enough for me to pull out before school starts on Monday.

Anna’s World

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On Saturday, Anna and I went to the mall together. She was very excited about something and was trying to tell me about how everyone in the universe liked it too. (For the life of me I can’t remember what that thing was.) Instead she replaced the word “universe” and said everyone in the “university” liked it too! I am glad she is already thinking of higher education.

A Little Introspection…and Some Mother Guilt

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I just finished reading the blog of a very wise friend of mine who has two adorable children and lives four houses down from me. I read that a mother sets the tone in the home. Oh, how right she is! I am sorry to say that in my attempts at planning the perfect vacation I have been a little (very) short with my sweet children. Today I heard Lizzie snap at Sam over a very small thing and she sounded just like I have been sounding.  I said, “Lizzie, please change your tone. I don’t want my little girl to sound like her stressed out mom.” (I am hearing, “Do as I say, not as I do”, ringing in my ears!)

I should probably work on my patience, and my tone of voice.

Exciting Times

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We have had an amazing summer so far and leave for our big trip on Monday! I must record a significant event before more time passes… two weeks ago Anna decided that she wanted to ride a two wheeler. She said, “Mom, I want to learn to ride a bike. Will you hold my seat for a few minutes?” I agreed and after about 35 seconds (really it was probably less than a minute) she said, “Ok! You can let go now!” And off she went! She had never tried to ride a pedal bike before, with or without training wheels! Typical Anna style she figured it out pretty much on her own, just charging right into a situation. She is the most competent, independent preschooler I have ever known! She is also officially the first Beckwith child to ride a bike before the age of five. See it here

Today I overheard Lizzie and Sam having a discussion on weather the new Subaru Outback looks more like a hot dog or a hamburger. I do so love this age.  I also love hearing them have conversations instead of just teasing or bickering. It gives me hope that they will be great friends one day.

I realized lately that being able to listen to my own music is a luxury. My children have their own tastes and preferences and actually change the music from my playlists to their own. They don’t really like jazz or the 90’s music that I like, which is crazy because I think I have pretty good taste in music! It is strange to move into this stage of adolescence where they like listening to the radio and have strong feelings about their own music. I don’t know why this surprises me, I’ve been forced to listen to “Frozen” music daily, (hourly) for the past six months because of Anna who should really be called “Ahna”